TLC 20 | Successful Habits

Successful habits are never formed by pushing yourself to the limit. If you do, you’ll just lose interest and stop. Author Andrew Kap believes that the best way to start rewarding habits is by determining all of the things you really love and want to do, and then start building from there.

In this episode, we talk about tapping into gratitude to create an effective, everyday routine.

About Andrew Kap

TLC 20 | Successful HabitsAndrew Kap holds one goal above all others through his various projects: genuine sustainable impact. His latest book release, ‘The Last Law of Attraction Book You’ll Ever Need to Read‘ offers readers a never-before-seen understanding of the topic.

A #1 Best Seller on Amazon with a dedicated YouTube channel, the book has received 100s of 5-star rave reviews.

Check out this episode if you want to learn:

  • What it really takes to build consistency in your routine (hint: it’s not as hard as you think!)
  • Why gratitude can help your business and your personal life
  • How one spoonful of ice-cream can transform your reality

🎧 Listen to the podcast here:

Andrew Kap On Learning Consistency Through Successful Habits

What was the inspiration behind your book? 

I’ve (been an) entrepreneur for over 2o years. The Law of Attraction (made) sense (to me), and I had my successes (and) failures with it.

TLC 20 | Successful Habits

The Last Law of Attraction Book You’ll Ever Need To Read: The Missing Key To Finally Tapping Into The Universe And Manifesting Your Desires

I used to think the Law of Attraction was unreliable. Later, (I’d) find out I was the one who was unreliable, because I would stop doing (it) even when it was working.

Many years ago, I lost my first business and (my) relationship within three days of one another. I got stubborn and indignant, (thinking): ‘This Law of Attraction thing seems to work whenever I do it. I’m going all-in with this thing once and for all.’

When I say all in, I don’t mean all day or every day. I’ll crack under that, but I can do it once a day for five minutes. The results I got (were) miraculous.

Two weeks later, I felt better, which is saying a lot with a broken heart. Three months later, I’m in a brand-new relationship, and way healthier. Four months later, I’m making more money than at any point in my life before then. Six months later, everything’s different. I’m in the best shape of my life.

(I wrote this book) when I was deciding what to do next with my business. I said, ‘Let me do a passion project (where) I can serve people, and won’t get bored (when) customer emails (come in). Let me set the conditions so that I am fully engaged when a customer writes in.’

Fortunately, the formula has been working fine for me, because I’ve never been happier in my business.

I have a background in counselling psychology, and also in organizational and personal development. There are some parallels between these, and the law of attraction. 

We should talk about the elephant in the room first, because people reading (might be) like, ‘I am on board with this.’ Some people are like, ‘This is BS.’ The best way to focus is to take on (that) first mindset.

Let’s take a non-esoteric example of lifting weights to get muscles. You lift weights, you get muscles.

Explanation number one is you lift weights (and then) when you go to sleep at night, the muscle fairy comes and gives you muscles. The second explanation is, when you’re working out, you’re putting stress on your body. The muscles are tearing in little parts. Your body responds by healing and filling in those gaps with more muscle fiber.

It doesn’t matter which of those reasons it is. All I know is that if I lift weights, I get muscles. If I do the Law of Attraction and gratitude, visualization or scripting techniques, it could be the universe, my subconscious mind, a combination or something else. All I know is that I get out a result.

If people find themselves doing gratitude exercises for a month, they will get results that they won’t be able to explain. All I care about is doing something fun, and that keeps me on point, so that I get a positive result and enjoy my life more.

In your work, what are some areas where people are hurting? How can they move past it?

The first thing they have to do is address the block that’s there, so that they can engage (with) it. To clinical psychologists out there, I’m butchering definitions, (but) the way I see it is we have three minds.

You’ve got the conscious, the subconscious and the ego right in the middle. As I define it, the ego is way stronger than the conscious mind, which is why people have so much trouble — but the subconscious mind is way stronger than everything. The ego has only one job, and that’s to keep you alive. With your money, career, relationship and even your health problems, all your ego knows, on a simplified level, is that you are alive, and it’s going to fight tooth and nail to keep you there.

(This is) why people don’t stick with routines, why they procrastinate, why they have fear, uncertainty, doubt. That’s the (ego’s) misguided way. It loves you, (and) it’s trying to protect you. You may want to be rich and famous, but for all the ego knows, when you’re famous, there might be a stalker waiting for you. For all the ego knows, as you get money, your in-laws are going to come out of the woodwork and try to take your money from you. The ego doesn’t care about your satisfaction, comfort, fulfillment. It knows you’re alive, and it wants to stick to it.

People become impatient with their lives (and) they don’t understand why things aren’t working. If you can bypass the ego to the subconscious mind through methods that you enjoy, (then it) doesn’t feel like a chore.

Gratitude methods for five minutes a day, visualizations — that is the key element to getting around this. You wake up one day and you feel a little bit better, and then (the same) the next day. This is important for entrepreneurs because when you feel better, you’re more energized, focused and engaged. All of a sudden, your business starts to boom because you’re making better, sounder and (more) productive decisions.

We’re speaking to some tangible, practical actions that you can take for five minutes a day that can get you back on track. 
'One of the keys to success is consistency.' Click To Tweet

I could teach my favorite one: the time-lapse method. It’s a gratitude exercise where you write 15 things that you’re grateful for. Five of them are from your past, five are from your present, and five are things that you want in your future.

You’re going to phrase every single one in the present tense in your list, and then you’re going to jumble up that list. Maybe the first thing on your list is present followed by future, past, another past, all mixed up. You read through that list, one item at a time.

The cool, powerful thing about this is that two-thirds of that list is real. It’s already happened or is happening, meaning there’s a certainty that you can’t force and manipulate. You’re tricking your vibration, your psychology into (having) the same confidence, certainty and enthusiasm when you’re reading those five future items that are dispersed throughout the list.

It’s a wonderfully enjoyable experience. For people that say, ‘This is BS, it won’t work’, I say even if the results don’t come, the five minutes that you’re taking are healthy and good for your mental fitness.

Scientific studies have proven that gratitude improves sleep, reduces anxiety and increases confidence. There are all these wins where even if you don’t get the Law of Attraction, (it’s still) a huge benefit.

Mindfulness is another one: being aware of what’s going on in yourself, to bring you closer to what’s important. 

The beauty in all of this is that everything is related. You’re solving one issue (which) auto-corrects other things. Any forward direction you take with your mental fitness and health is going to bleed over into other areas without you even trying. That’s why I love it.

TLC 20 | Successful Habits

Successful Habits: If you’re motivated, engaged, and having a good time, you will keep doing it, and it’s going to get better for you.

In your book, you speak to the approach, ‘The Perfect Ice-Cream’. Can you explain this?

Let’s say you walked up to someone in the gym and you said, ‘I’ve got the perfect ice-cream here. It’s got all the positive qualities of ice cream, and none of the negative. If you have one spoonful a day, it’s going to give you the perfect body.’

That seems like a win-win!

If you give someone that offer, they’re going to do it every day because one, it’s something they look forward to. Two, it’s fun, which makes sense because of number one. Three, it’s easily consumable. It’s not like you have to eat a whole carton of ice cream. It’s a spoonful.

The whole key is finding a mental exercise that you enjoy, that you look forward to, and that doesn’t take long, so that you don’t have to worry about it. It doesn’t feel like gritting your teeth, (and rather) becomes an automatic part of your routine, effortlessly. That’s what I’m going for with it.

Often, we want to jump five feet forward, without taking our time with it. What’s your experience with that? 

I was fortunate that that did not become a part of my mental conversation because I was defeated (at the start). Without even meaning to, I took the deadline and requirements out of the equation, which I realize isn’t easy. I was fortunate in that I was mad at myself, (and) I was able to do (it) for at least a month. Since I was already seeing results, the results became the affirmation to keep going.

We’re in an instant gratification world. Be intentional about what you want, but don’t make it a forced requirement. If you try to force it, it pushes you back further. That recognition should hopefully be enough reason to say, ‘Let me be as relaxed as possible, and invite this in (however) it’s going to come for me.’

It sounds like part of it is giving yourself permission to have setbacks, which creates a reset for yourself as well. 
'Bypass the ego to the subconscious mind through methods that you enjoy and don't feel like a chore.' Click To Tweet

I see setbacks from the lens of, ‘This setback is holding me back now for a better opportunity.’ Let’s say you want a house, and you put in a bid for it. Someone else bids higher, and you don’t get the house. You’re like, ‘That was the perfect house.’ What you don’t realize is, if you maintain a good attitude, maybe an even better house that’s even larger, with lower taxes, a better commute for work is a month away. If you’d known that, you (would have gotten) excited that someone outbid you.

This comes in business (too). Maybe a client is stolen from you, but you don’t realize that they are a high-end client (who is) going to be difficult. It leaves you open for three new clients that are going to pay you way more money, be way easier to work with, and help you expand your business.

We don’t like setbacks (because) when they happen, they are not fun. We can’t see how it’s going to work out, but I choose to keep myself in the mind frame of, ‘If I have to go through this, let me embrace the possibility that something better can come out of this.’

I don’t know if that’s going to be consistent, but so far it has been (working, so) I’m going to stick with it until it doesn’t.

What would you say to leaders who ask you how to create that consistency in their life?

They’ve got to be motivated enough to experiment (with) different techniques. The gratitude method that you like becomes the way the pathway by which you stay consistent, because it’s fun and easy.

What I advise is for people to find their spoonful of ice cream in the context of healthy mental exercises like gratitude or visualization. When you have that, maintaining the consistency becomes easy, fun, enjoyable and something that they’re motivated to do for the method in and of itself. That’s where the magic is created.

You can make this an uphill battle and try to struggle your way through it. In my own life experience, it never lasted until I found something that I enjoy.

What are some other techniques that you would recommend?

The other main thing that I go into my book is scripting, which is journaling your life in the present tense, as if you’re already living your dream life. I call it the ‘Two Years From Now’ method, where I’m leaving a message to myself (in two years from now), because two years is plausible.

I talk about all the great things that have happened in my life: ‘Andrew, you won’t believe what you have to look forward to. That conversation with Jeffrey led to all these other interviews, now you’re getting podcast interviews every day. You’re getting even more book sales, more five-star reviews on top of the ones that you already have. You’re getting enthusiasm and you’re helping many people.’

I’m even doing that wrong, I say — ‘I’m helping people. I’m doing this.’ I put myself in it, and I do this every day.

All you need to be doing is thinking about what you have, what you want — or both — while feeling good. Any method that lets you do that is the right method for you.

One of the key things you mentioned is that you can do this with other people, to help you stay accountable. 

Something I learned from Eben Pagan is inevitability thinking: how do you set the conditions so that your result is inevitable?

We as humans tend to let ourselves down way easier than we let other people down. There’s this social obligation embedded in this relationship where I have to leave (my friend) a (gratitude) message, otherwise, I’m not being a good friend. Sometimes, he’ll leave a message first, and sometimes I’ll leave a message first. Not only am I talking about the stuff that I’m grateful for, but I’m commenting on all the good news that he gave me, and vice versa.

We’ve been doing this for several years. Before I wrote the book, (my friend had) heard every update and every real, legit five-star review. I don’t share personal details from people (who) write (to me), but anytime I get a good email from someone (who was) helped through the material, I tell him about it. He hears all this stuff, and I hear about his progress.

There’s a beauty in that that, (because it) keeps people motivated and engaged. If you’re motivated and engaged and you’re having a good time, you’re going to keep doing it, and it’s going to get better and better for you.

What’s a good first step for someone to get started and work on themselves? 
'Setbacks can be turned to your advantage and seen as an opportunity.' Click To Tweet

They technically already took the good first step by reading this, because I gave them a free method. In fact, I gave them a couple of free methods. I’d say, ‘If you want to give me money and buy my book, by all means, please do it. I’m never going to say no to that, but you got the free keys to the castle. Pick any of these methods, and see if they feel good to you.’

In my life, gratitude is the first step. It’s like a buzz term — people don’t appreciate the power of it, because it gets overexposed in the marketplace. If people are earnest, they will be pleasantly surprised by (how) things start to shape out. If nothing else, they’re going to feel good for those five minutes each day.

TLC 20 | Successful Habits

Successful Habits: If people are just earnest and give themselves a chance to enjoy a little bit every day, they will be pleasantly surprised by things that start to shape out the right way for them.

Taking consistent action each day to move forward is the key.

Don’t say, ‘I’m going to bench press 400 pounds every day’ if you can’t do it. Let’s say you do it on day one, your muscles are going to hurt too much on day two. All of a sudden, you’ve broken the habit. Do something fun and easy that you can do every single day, and let the momentum carry its own weight for you.

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